Why Goals Are Overrated: A Rebel's Guide to Progress
If you’re looking for a new way to set better goals, I’ve got a simple revolutionary strategy:
Don’t.
From the ages of 15-28 I set goals every year, and they were almost always exactly the same.
I looked for the note (unfortunately, it’s floating in the iCloud ether somewhere), but no worries, I can still remember them.
Why?
Because I read them out loud first thing in the morning and every night before I went to bed.
Here are a few that come to mind:
-Make $100k off music by the time I’m 26
-Headline MSG by the time I’m 28
-Forbes 30 under 30 by 30
There were more, too, fitness goals like getting a physique that looked like Chris Hemsworth or other equally ludicrous and lofty dreams that were fueled by ego.
But you know what?
I didn’t accomplish any of them.
Not a single one.
Am I bitter about it? Not at all (OK, maybe a little).
I learned an important lesson from it, though, and that’s what I want to share with you today.
After doing all the “manifesting” and the goal-setting “best practices” you hear about (specific, time-bound, measurable, etc.) I realized none of that matters if you aren’t willing to put in the COLD, HARD work to get there.
The problem is, these were all goals I thought I wanted, except I obviously didn’t because I didn’t put in enough work to achieve them.
Which is my thesis about goals wrapped up in a nutshell: if there’s enough pain and/or motivation to do something, you’ll do it, regardless of what you wrote it down on your goals list.
And this brings me to my main issue with goals.
#1 - They can blind us from what we NEED because of what we WANT.
I craved so badly to achieve these goals, to “make it” as a musician, that it was a detriment to everything else in my life.
Girlfriends?
Sorry, don’t have time.
Was celibate from 25-29 (not recommended).
Other career possibilities?
It’s everything or nothing, pal. This is destiny. Beat it.
Kids?
Nope. That’s a distraction from the dream. Time for a vasectomy.
It wasn’t until I let go of all my goals and completely restarted (not easy) that I started to flow with the inevitable push and pull of life.
If that sounds too “woo-woo,” hear me out.
I began last year wanting to be a filmmaker/Youtuber THEN quit and started applying for an MFA, THEN quit and started a service business doing digital storytelling, THEN gave up and worked for a remote team, THEN quit, and now…I’m building a new business (which hopefully I’ll stick with), helping other people tell their story.
Whew.
That might sound like a lot for a year (it was), but if I had set concrete goals around filmmaking, I might never have found writing.
Life will give you feedback.
The key is being open to receiving it.
#2 - Unnecessary psychological pain.
Is there anything linked to your goal?
More income? Customers? Instagram followers?
Or is that just an arbitrary number that sounds good and you want because…
When we set these lofty goals and then don’t reach them we’re causing ourselves unnecessary psychological pain.
Not to mention stress.
We naturally assume growth is better, and therefore, it’s inherently written into our goals when we create them.
But is making more revenue in your business/job actually what you want?
I see a lot of folks stretching themselves for MORE when LESS might actually be the answer.
Maybe, instead of trying to go harder and earn more than last year, what that person actually needs is to cut their revenue in half, spend more time with their significant other, and start playing pickleball.
I’m not saying that’s the answer for everybody, but if folks spent more time for themselves and less time stressed about growth (for what specific reason, again?) I think it could work wonders.
For the record - this is coming from a guy who spent most of the 15 months living off savings to travel the world and write a book, so I wouldn’t say I’m the authority on high-income earners here, but I would say I know a thing or two about living authentically.
Rarely do I see a person whose goals are to earn less, save more, or prioritize their well-being. Instead, a lot of what I see are folks motivated by psychological demons deep in their subconscious they’re intent on slaying by proving their worth to the world through external success.
(I’m probably as guilty as anyone of this, btw. Just sayin’)
I realize this is a lot of goal-bashing, and if it seems like I’m pushing for laziness, I’m not.
Don’t get it twisted, I’m not suggesting we all walk barefoot through life, holding up peace signs and wearing flower crowns, just “being in the moment, man.”
Trust me; you don’t spend half of your life trying to be a rockstar without a LITTLE soul-crushing chip on the shoulder motivation to conquer the world.
#3 - Unrealistic expectations.
My final beef with goal setting is that they’re unrealistic. Not the goals themselves but the idea.
We’re going to get our health on track
AND make more time for family
AND exceed in our career
AND start meditating
AND…
It’s not gonna happen.
What I love about the book 4000 Weeks by Oliver Burkman (if you haven’t read it, I highly recommend it) is the idea that we always believe we have more time than we actually do.
We can’t do it all. But that’s OK.
YOU get to choose what parts of your life you’re going to let crash and burn while you focus on what’s important.
Because if you don’t, life will decide for you.
Now, with that out of the way, let’s talk about what we can do in lieu of instead of goal setting.
#1 - RETROSPECTIVE
This is borrowed from Mr. Timothy Ferriss, who I might be THE biggest Stan of.
Rather than imagining nebulous dream outcomes that could potentially happen in the future, look BACK at your year, where you have more concrete data.
Go through your calendar month by month, and see where you were MOST happy.
Make a note of those times and reflect on them.
What were you doing? Who were you with? Where were you?
Do more of that.
Then, take a second to go through your year again and find when you were LEAST happy.
The same questions apply as before.
Do less of that.
Sounds simple, but I’ve found it super helpful in determining my direction moving forward.
#2 - NOT WAITING
The second strategy I’ve found helpful with goals is simple.
Don’t wait.
My issue with the new year goal-setting bit is that we delay, postponing whatever we want to start doing until it’s the new year.
Like that day is somehow more significant.
Is it a great time to check in? Absolutely.
Birthdays too. It’s a nice reminder that time is passing and to reflect on how we’re doing.
But there are 364 other perfectly good days to start.
Wake up tomorrow and get after it.
That said, if this New Year is the one when you’re FINALLY going to start hitting the gym, for god’s sake, please don’t join mine.
The second squat rack broke, so now we’re down to only one.
And I’m trying to look like THOR.
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