In this candid and sarcastic collection of essays, Kia Orion navigates the chaos of modern life with self-deprecating humor and a keen eye for the absurd. Whether it's seeking medical procedures in unexpected places – like getting a vasectomy in Mexico – to sharing cringe-worthy sexual encounters, wrestling with the temptation to stab himself with a screwdriver in a moment of existential crisis, or dissecting the complexities of identity while living as an American abroad, his stories are as thought-provoking as they are entertaining.

This collection is not just a series of escapades but a reflection on life's often unexpected twists and the lessons we reluctantly, or not, learn from them. Kia's essays are a compelling mix of humor and heart, showcasing his ability to find the extraordinary in the ordinary, and wisdom in the most unexpected of places – even if it’s advice he should probably be taking himself.