What The New Spider-Man Movie Taught Me About Reality
I walked out of the theater and ducked into the bathroom.
I hoped no one saw the red rims around my eyes.
I know animated Spiderman movies aren’t supposed to be tearjerkers, but…god damn, that shit hit me in the feels.
The waterworks started in the middle of the movie when they hit the “importance of family” and “it’s good to be different” themes.
It was especially tough watching the credits roll.
Now, that might sound strange. But hear me out.
Yes, the visuals and story are mind-boggling. More than that, though, is the soundtrack.
These new animated Spiderman movies have incredible songs paired with the film.
They’ve got jams by huge artists like Post-Malone, Swae Lee, Asap Rocky, etc.
And the music in these movies has a powerful effect on me, but not necessarily in the way you might think.
I spent the last 14 years of my life dedicated to being the next Drake.
For as long as I could remember, all I’d wanted was to be a rapper (more on that here).
As the final credits rolled, I heard the tag of a famous producer I’d been a fan of for ages (it was the notorious “Metro!” shout-out, meaning a Metro Boomin production).
And the song was so good, I imagined what it must have been like to work on it.
I envisioned Metro Boomin and Asap Rocky in the studio, having a blast, and being paid boatloads of cash to create art.
Wanting to be an artist for most of my life reminded me of what I had always hoped my future would look like.
A dream I’d dreamed for over a decade.
I was already emotionally raw from the movie (nothing like cartoons to get the emotions flowing), so I think that was partially to blame, but I couldn’t shake this strange sense of sadness that came over me when I heard that producer tag.
I took my phone out and looked up the soundtrack on Wikipedia.
Metro had produced the entire album.
Here was a kid, younger than I was, living the life I’d been chasing for so long.
It wasn’t until I left the building and started walking home I noticed I couldn’t shake this mini-depression.
Dude…wtf is going on with you?
And then it dawned on me…
Somewhere along the way, I’d gone from the kid who believed in all those cheesy middle school posters with quotes above parachutes and hockey pucks to a (regular) sad adult.
I no longer lived in a world where dreams came true.
Fantasies were achieved by other people.
It was like once the vision for myself was punctured (now over a year ago), all ambition had slowly drained from me like a leaky balloon.
I was so bothered by the idea I stopped walking and ducked under the glowing awning of a 7-11.
I took out my phone to look at the credits again…
I clicked on Metro’s highlighted name and was taken to his Wikipedia page…
I googled his net worth, the jealousy tightening in my stomach.
I then clicked the “news” tab to rub salt in the wound and see what accolades I’m sure he was accumulating with such a killer project.
But the first article that popped up wasn’t about the movie at all.
It was about his mom. And more sadly, her death.
She had been murdered over a year ago, and apparently, Metro had posted very infrequently since.
Only a few photos of the two of them on Instagram, with captions about how living felt more like a nightmare than a reality.
I was shocked.
I felt a deep sympathy for Metro, and the resentment and envy that had been building in my head and heart for the last 30 minutes vanished instantly.
It was unreal.
One second I was utterly consumed with negative energy, how bummed I was with my current state of life and why I couldn’t seem to get shit right.
And within a finger snap, I felt the opposite. Not only did the envy disappear, but it was replaced with profound gratitude for my own life.
I slid my phone back into my pocket and walked the rest of the hour home through the humid streets of Chiang Mai, envisioning his reality and feeling more thankful than ever.
Lessons learned:
How quickly our perceptions of reality can change with one piece of information.
Other people’s lives are never as extraordinary as we make them out to be. We thin-slice the lives of celebrities and select the pieces we want without realizing all the baggage that comes with it.
The human experience is challenging, no matter how rich or famous you are.
We have more than we realize.
P.S. My own pettiness aside, the film is SO f*cking good. Please go watch it and tell me what you think.
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